Merry Christmas Folks!!!

This is brilliant!!! Listen carefully, its so funny.

Speed Post: North Pole

...

Dear Santa,

More than half the people I love are scattered across various parts of the world, and this Christmas I miss them. Im going to have a lousy Christmas because all my ridiculous friends have stationed themselves all over the bloody world and I have no one to get smashed on eggnogg with. Its great to know you are loved and have people watching your back, but it sucks that you only get to hear from them when youre in trouble or depressed, or they are.

My life is surprisingly empty without those idiots! Make them stop fucking around and come home already! Please Santa, I know I havent belived in you since I was like 5, but Id really like to have my friends all back for Christmas. I know also that this is very short notice, so if you cant manage Christmas, New Years will do.

So here is my list:
(In Alphabetical Order)

• Ameya (She can drink fifty whiskeys and still stand up straight, cooks awesum food and always has something funny to say)
• Dodi (hmmmm.... well... Heeheehe just kidding Do! She buys great wine, has awesum sexcapades and lets me borrow her clothes)
• Kasewa (He gets bloody drunk on one beer, gets into the most unbelievably funny situations and is always willing to drive people places no matter how drunk he is*)
• Pig** (He always has cigarrettes, is great at seeing the funny side of things and telling me about it quietly so I have something to laugh about and he always insists on paying)
• Posh (He knows the best places to buy stuff in palika, is secretly really fond of me and its awesum watching him accidentally show it and the get all emabarassed and he has LOTS of JD)

So I dont have a tree this year, or a chimney, but Im sure you'll be able to work your magic. Anyhooo, in return I will leave out a plate of White Chocolate and Rasberry cookies and a glass of Full Cream Milk. All the good stuff! See you soon Santa.

Much love and Good wishes
to you and Mrs. Claus,
and a hug for all the Reindeer,

Misha

*I know this might sound dangerous, but we dont let him drive, he just offers!

**I know Gurgaon isnt that far away, but as we arent speaking to each other right now, metaphorically he is on the other side of the planet so you could fix that.

Come Watch The Fringe

Seduction Style

Take this quiz. Its really fun, and you learn some interesting things about yourself.TAG


And I already have a puppy*mutter mutter*

The Nobility at My Home.

This is Lord Bartholomew IV. He is a fat, snooty, demanding, adorable monster.

He doesnt like sharing food with his sister, and is not above smacking her on the head to make her stop eating. This makes FCM very angry, but he knows just how to win her over. He is always the first to poo, and is in infact a little over-enthusiastic in this department. He cant stand to be cuddled for more than ten seconds, and if you try to hold him for longer he will wiggle his fat bottom in your face and eat your hair.

He has an alarming affection for mud and green leaves from all the plants in FCM's mothers garden. FCM has so far manged to keep mother from finding out, but she lives in fear. He is very insistent that his cerelac is always lukewarm, and does a tempertaure test by sticking both his paws in his bowl before eating. So far FCM has managed to get the tempertaure right everytime. He thinks that he is the absolute cat's whiskers (so to speak), and thinks he can get whatever he wants by sitting on his opponent. However, his sister and his Boss Dog are both extremely cunning gurls who outwit him all the time and often leave him in emabarassing situations that he simply cant explain to FCM. He is a good sport though, and never holds a grudge.

This is Lady Leaf. She is quiet, graceful, intelligent, cuddly, manipulative and has the most beautiful grey-green-brown eyes you have ever seen.
She was very sick wen she was a wee-er baby, and as a result she doesnt trust anyone. Her favourite thing to do is curl up on FCM's lap and go to sleep. When she is happy she jumps up and down and has the cutest little happy dance. Though her brother is much bigger than she is, she knows how to put him in his place. She has the lungs of a jungle amazon queen, and if you piss her off you had better look out. She is immensely patient with the neurotic FCM, and understandingly lets her wipe of the essential cerelac face pack with cotton and warm water whenever FCM feels compelled to do so.

She knows just how to get what she wants, and she always has an escape plan, much like bond. Her favourite smell in the world is the perfume of her brothers bottom, and for that reason her second favourite thing to do is sleep with her nose up it. She has the fanciest pedicure in straypuppieville, and if she decides to dig her nails into you believe me you will be sorry for whatever it is you have done to offend her.

She loves punishing FCM by refusing to poo after she eats. This means that FCM is forced to squat outside in the freezing cold at 6 in the morning and 10 at night, begging the little furball to PLEASE POOO!!!!

My Calling

Though I get by, my hindi is appaling at best. I often find myself mired in complicated and embarassing situations, because I cant make myself understood, or because I simply cant understand what the guy talking to me is saying. And the more I get flustered the less I understand, and the more complicated the situation is going to get.

Im doing the sound for a play, and helping me out is the tech guy, a gentleman named Jasbir Bhaiya (JB). JB and I were ensconsed in the lights room earlier today, watching the rather disorganised play downstairs, and we got rather chatty despite my hindi.

However one sticky situation arose while I was crawling around under the lights console, trying to hook up my ipod.

JB: Aapne bilkul galat line chose kiya hai. (you have chosen the wrong line)

I stare up at him from my submissive position on my knees, confusion wrinkling my forehead. I begin to examine the bundle of wires in my hand more closely, carefully tracing them back to the slots in the sound board marked Line 1, Line 2 and so on. Since Im relatively new to the sound tech world, today being my first day, it was not inconceivable that i had messed up royally.

JB: Mera matlab hai, yeh jo line hai, bahut mushkil hai. Aapko bahut musibat ho gi. Hum sab ko bahut musibat hoti hai. (I mean, this line is very difficult. Youll have lots of trouble. We'll all have lots of trouble)

I begin to panic quite seriously. I have no idea what Ive done that is so disastrous, but clearly it could put the whole play in jeopardy. I go over every wire in the sound board, but they all appear to plugged into the right slot. Miserable and close to a major breakdown i turn to the heartless JB and ask,

"Kaunsi line?" (which line is it?)

JB: Theatre ki line! Iss me bahut musibat hoti hai! Raat ke dus baje tak rehearsal ke liye rehna parta hai! (The theatre line! Its a very difficult profession. Rehearsals go on till ten at night!)

I stare at JB, struggling with a mix of horror, delight, relief and an irrrepressible desire to giggle like an idiot.

He's right. Theatre is a tough profession. Where else could this have happened to me?