Fidelity
Views on the subject are by and large the same for the majority of the human race. Even those that flout this 'law' know that they are doing something wrong, they just chose to do it anyway.
I have never believed in fidelity. As a concept. I think its wrong to tell someone who they can be with, and to restrict someones freedom in the matter of who they decide to love, or how many, has never been an easy thing for me to wrap my head around. I want the person Im with to choose me. Choose me from real options, not imaginary or hypothetical ones. Choose me even though they were free to be with whomever they chose and did not risk losing me if they did find someone else to also spend time with. My only demand is honesty. You have to ell me whats happening. Deception is not acceptable.
As a result, I have given this freedom to every man Ive ever been with. Most men puff up in anticipation of receiving such an offer... that is until they realise they have to reciprocate. I have had boyfriends for, oh, 5 years now, and I have always extended this offer at the begining of every relationship.
No one has ever taken me up on it.
That may be why Im still resolved to tell men they can fuck around while they are with me. Having been with remarkably faithful and devoted men my whole life, the concept of sharing is still hypothetical. Hypothetically Im willing to share. I just dont know if I could in real life.
Lately Ive been faced with a disturbing situation, that doesnt match this scenario exactly, but is broadly related. My reaction was not promising. It seems the whole concept of sharing, actually sharing is limited to, at the most, a random drunken fumble with a stranger at a riotous party. Invole things like history, emotion and a real connection and Im a vindictive bitch with a firestorm of a temper.
However.
Im all this on the inside. On the outside Im all support and encouragement.
Does it still count?
11 comments:
ah yes. *restrains self* least you're admitting it to you. :) hug. please surface in my universe again sometime soon. much to talk about.
hmm, such dichotomy! in such times, what makes sense when you say do what you think is right? an it really be a right turn, but there's a left to it...
Okay...Someone is going up in life.
well atleast you do come out with it..hey at the end of the day that's what counts
was going through my cd collection.. landed up watching 2 clive owen movies(me not his big fan but ...) 'closer' and 'derailed'... it counts.. i think.. this concept has more layer and the oldest red wood tree on the planet... tread carefully.. reality has a nasty way of wenching at our guts.. " keep reality unreal"....its way safer, i tried fusing the two.. i paid dearly....
Mey: Yes Thank you. Im growing up it seems. *SIGH*
Jerry: Thanks for the directions
*GRIN*
Anon: Well, it will have to beexplored further, to see if it really is for the best.
Dhrupad: You make a lot of sense. I love that, keep reality unreal. What a fabulous tagline! Thank you.
thank you very much... its an original.. name of one the first poems i wrote.. it was tad too immature, the poem, the heading stuck....
you know how they say its the thought that counts... so there! ;)
ps: miss you tons!
Okay Delhi is boring as it is without you posting...NEW POST!!!
I think that it still counts.
As someone who has actually gone through the sharing and secretly hating it, I know how hard it can be.
In my opinion the rational part of me is all support and encouragement. Emotions on the other hand are rarely rational, and they are responsible for the yuckiness. I find the best way to deal is put the emotional stuff aside and just talk yourself into getting over the jealousy.
Or white-knuckle it the entire time, that works too, LOL.
All The Best,
SG
SG: Thanks!
Ive been meaning to talk to you about it actually. I dont know HOW you do it. Doesnt resentment build up until you explode? Dont you do stupid things out of sheer insecurity?
I would go mad, in your position!
I mean theoretically I agree, but practically Im a mess.
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